Unwanted Adventure
by BlueBloodDragon
Summary: Astrid Potter just wanted to sulk in peace after losing her job, not go on some crazy adventure in some wierd place far away from her home.
1. chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harrry Potter or The Hobbit, in any shape or form.**

"Well, it is your own fault," Hermione Granger said, pausing by her friends bed in her room at Number Twelve, Grimmlaud Place. "Officially, the records may say you quit, but honestly if you weren't the savior of the wizarding world, it would say you were fired for being drunk."

The young women groaned into her pillow and roughly pulled her comforter over her body." I was not. I was just…"

"You can't even come up with a believable lie for your actions," said a voice.

Hermione clucked her tongue loudly at the interruption, not turning to the voice.

The girl in the bed sat up, the blanket falling low over her body, revealing a disgruntled and tired looking raven haired girl with bright green eyes. She stared through squinted eyes at a young women lolling in the bedroom doorway. She was dressed in a knee length dark blue skirt and a bright orange tank top, her waist length blonde hair flowing wildly as she flounced into the room. " Personally, I think it is a wonderful way to say, fuck you, to everyone at the ministry."

" And where have you been Luna?" Hermione asked shrewdly.

" in the kitchen," answered Luna, as she laid down next to her disgruntled friend," looking for honey"

" Honey?" the young raven haired women queried." Why would you need honey?"

" I don't need honey," said the blond," you do."

The greened eyed girl furrowed her brow, confused at Luna's thought process.

Hermione sighed and sat down next to them, giving up on trying reprimand her friend," Astrid, would you please, just answer me. Why, did you think it was a good idea, to show up to work drunk. I mean for Merlin's sake you're an auror."

Astrid Potter chewed a wisp of her deep black colored hair and looked carefully between her two best friends."

Hermione tried again:" When we left you last night you were sober. That was around one in the morning, and you said you were going straight to bed. What happened between then, and when you had to show up for work?"

" Hermione?"

" what Luna?"

"Would you please stop twittering about?"

Hermione Granger groaned with irritation, and fell back on the bed.

It was several minutes before anyone spoke. " Okay, so the twins may have sent me some things, and I may have ignored their warning, on how I shouldn't use it if I was going anywhere. Honestly though, how was I supposed to know it would make me shit faced drunk?" Astrid asked in a defensive tone.

"Of course, its always the twins isn't it?" Hermione voiced towards the ceiling.

With a huff, Luna sat up crossing her arms.

" We need to go show them who's boss," Luna said to her friends decisively." They knew that Astrid would just eat it, no questions asked. " Before Hermione could ' twitter' in protest, Luna got up, dragging them both out of the room. Hermione smiled graciously as she caught on to what Luna was trying to do. She was getting Astrid out of the house, so she wouldn't just sulk about for days on end.

" Yeah," Astrid said, fixing her old beaten up, Metallica t-shirt." Lets go give the twins a piece of our mind. They got me fired." And with that she flooed to the Burrow.

" They did tell her not to use it if she was heading anywhere," Hermione sighed tiredly, Luna just winked at her and left to without answering" She's 23, she should've known better." The curly haired brunet huffed before flooing after them.

"Mrs. Weasley, do you know where the twins are?" Hermione heard Astrid asking as she stepped from the flames.

" Oh, dear, I've told you countless times to call me Molly." Mrs. Weasley answered as she hugged Astride to her side.

"Sorry." She answered.

" Forgiven. Fred and George went out into the forest to look for ingredient's for some new items their creating." She clucked her tongue, she still thought they could be using their skills for something less childish.

" Thanks Mrs. Weasley," Astrid yelled, as she ran out the door pulling Luna and Hermione after her. She pooped her head back in and smiled sheepishly at the plump red head in the kitchen. "Sorry, Molly." She corrected herself, before she took off again.

"Wait," Hermione practically screamed, as she pulled the persistent brunet to a stop at the edge of the forest." We can't just charge into the forest."

" Yes, we can." Astrid countered as she walked in, leaving them behind.

"Don't worry, the nargles say something great will come out of all we will face from this point forward," Luna spoke airily, she gripped Hermione's hand and lead her in after Astrid," It may, at first seem like were away from where were supposed to be, but our destiny lies ahead of us"

Hermione looked confusedly at her blond friend, and let her lead her to where Astrid appeared to of gone." Luna. What's going to happen, where are we going to go?"

" You know, maybe we should use the point me spell." Hermione heard Astrid talking to herself as they caught up with her.

"Or we could just keep aimlessly walking around, its not like were three young women, out on our own in the middle of dark forest or anything." Luna answered, ignoring Hermione curious and apprehensive stare.

" Hardy har har." Astrid said glaring at her, while she pulled out her wand and prepared to cast the spell. She paused though, when from behind them a deep feral growl sounded.

Slowly they all turned, and made fearful eye contact with a huge dark brown wolf.

" Hey there big guy," Astrid whispered in an attempt to calm it down, all it did was seem to aggravate it though as it leapt forward and ran towards them. She shot a spell at it but all did was bounce off harmlessly. "Run!" she screamed.

They a took off further into the forest, the wolf hot on there tails for several adrenaline filled minutes. They ran in terror as fast as they could, Hermione at the front, she sprinted over a tree root and stopped suddenly just on the edge of a ledge. There was a massive gaping hole spanning what looked to be a mile, she wasn't sure and didn't get to think on it hard as Astrid and Luna ran into her, making them fall in.

They screamed as they free fell down the huge pit, the surface rapidly disappearing until they were bathed in total darkness. There screams echoing about the forever deep chasm, wind ripping wildly as they fell. It felt like hours that they fell, their throats rubbed raw from so much yelling, when suddenly, they hit ground dangerously hard.

Astrid felt around the squishy mud underneath her, and slowly rolled onto her back. She opened her eyes, immediately closing them again as bright sunlight flared down on her. To her right, Hermione groaned, shakenly using her arms to push herself on to her side.

Glancing over at Astrid she noticed something peculiar, her friend appeared to be far shorter than her original 5'4, she was also missing all of her clothes. Not to mention that her feet were far bigger than considered normal, opening her eyes more she pushed herself up further, and realized she was in same condition.

Peering around them slowly, she started to catalogue there surrounding area the best she could with a pounding headache. They appeared to be in a forest with high winding trees, many berry filled bushes and fruit bearing trees. Looking back at Astrid she noticed Lune sprawled out, faced down in the mud, grass and blood matted in all of her bright blond hair.

"Luna," she tried to say, but all that came out was a gargled noise, and she feel forward, coughing up blood. Her breathing became wet and ragged, her head starting to spin wildly.

" Oh dear." Hermione heard someone yell out, and fast foot steps thuded towards them. Someone gently touched her shoulder, making her flinch and let out a whimper at the pain," It's all right, I won't hurt you." A distinctive male voice soothed.

She forced her eyes open, and meet the concerned eyes of a short male with a huge basket full of fruit on his arm. He had brown curly hair and light brown eyes, and looked to be somewhere in his thirties. He smiled kindly but forcefully at her when he caught her looking at him.

" My name is Bilbo, you look very beaten up, I'm going to help you, all right?" was the last thing Hermione heard as her eyes fluttered shut once more, and she passed out.


	2. Chapter 2

It was nearly the middle of the night, and Bilbo was sitting rigged in a chair, a blanket drawn tight around his body as he gazed at the figures in his home. He didn't understand what was happening to be honest, one moment he had been out picking berries, and anything else to eat, when he suddenly heard a loud thud from over a hill. Upon inspection, he came across the oddest site he'd ever seen in the Shire.

Three fully naked women, two hobbits like himself that he'd never seen before, and a lithe blond elf. He sighed and placed his head in his hands, closing his eyes. He had so many questions, and none would be answered as all his surprise guests were unconscious from the injures they had suffered.

Like, what happened to them? Where did they come from? Are they in danger, is someone after them? He groaned again and lifted his gaze back up he passed his gaze over the three women, laid out across his living room floor. It had taken some effort, but he had gotten the to his home, and thankfully no one had been around to notice. For he felt that letting others know of their presence wouldn't be the best idea.

It was a nagging feeling in back of his head, that he couldn't quiet explain, but was willing to listen to. He hoped that they woke soon, but they had been fairly injured.

His gazed strayed to the blond elf, her bright daisy yellow hair trying to fan out around her hair, but a tight bandage circled around her head kept it in place. She had been the worst, her head had had a large gash going from her left temple to the back of her neck.

Averting his eyes, he turned to the black haired Hobbit, he was curious about her, she had a severely bruised abdomen and a knot in her right temple. What really grabbed his attention, was the scar upon her forehead, it was shaped like some sort of bolt of lightning, and it looked vaguely familiar, he just couldn't remember why. Plus on her hand carved I to the skin, were the words, I must not tell lies. Both things had made him pause, when he had been cleaning and bandaging her, it was all just so peculiar.

Shaking his head, he peered over at the last women, and blushed, she was very pretty. She had been the only one barley conscious when he had found them. He had found she had had a broken ankle, but was otherwise fine. He ran his gaze over her still, sleeping body, and then averted his eyes quickly ashamed of his looking.

He shouldn't be looking at her like that, it made him fell kind of dirty. Not being attracted to her, it just seemed wrong, he found her, them, naked and hurt in the woods. It just wasn't right, and he was a gentlemen, and gentlemen don't do that.

Sighing he leaned back slightly, he just wanted one of them to wake up, he wanted to know what happened. At the same time though, he wanted them to sleep forever, he had this weird sense that when they finally woke, things would change very rapidly. He just hoped it was good.

He shot up in his seat when he heard a slight whimper come from the women on the floor, he wasn't sure which though. He rushed form his seat, tripping over the blanket, when he saw the raven haired one try to sit up and cry in pain, startling the others up.

"Please, lay back down. You're hurt." Bilbo fussed with wide eyes, trying to gently lay her back down.

She ignored him though and sat all the way up, groaning all the way, her left arm around her waist where she was bruised, and her right hand clutching her messy locks. " What the bloody fucking hell happened?" and Bilbo stuttered at her vulgar language

She glanced up at hearing his nonsensical words, and he paused, as if in a trance. She had the clearest, brightest, green eyes he had ever seen, they practically glowed in the low lit candle light.

" Who are you? "She asked backing away slightly, her entrancing green eyes starting to vigorously dart around the room.

Bilbo cleared his throat nervously," My name is Bilbo Baggins, at your service. Would you please lay back your very hurt, you shouldn't be moving about."

He watched as she ignored him and continued to glance about before resting her eyes on her friends," Hermione?" she tried to get her attention, but all she got was a stiff grown.

The ravened haired women growled very animalistic, startling him so much he yelped, and her head wiped back around to him, and she started to scrutinize him," Where are we?" she demanded, trying to look as intimidating as possible in her current state.

"Well you're in the Shire, Hobbiton, uh Bag End." He stuttered continuously, her unnerving green eyes kept making him lose focus, and she looked confused about his answer.

"What?" She had a very odd look on her face.

" uh, where we're you last?" Bilbo tried to help her figure out where she was.

She gave him another close look before she answerd in a slow wary voice," England."

"England?" Bilbo asked tasting the name on his tongue," never heard of that place before."

He paused when she suddenly looked at him as if he was crazy," you've never heard of England? You know, England in Europe?"

"No?" it came out as more of a questioned than he wanted," I mean, Hobbits don't tend to get out much from their homes and such." He tried to defend never hearing of this place.

"What the hell is a hobbit?" she asked looking even more confused.

"You don't know what a hobbit is?" he was alarmed and placed his hand on a forehead," you don't have a fever. How many fingers am I holding up?" he asked raising two fingers into the air right in front of her face frantically.

Astrid slapped his hand away from her face, making him fall back onto his ass, and look at her shocked," what dose it matter that I don't know what a hobbit is?" she asked irritated at being maliciously coddled and looked over, she could take care of herself.

"Because you're a hobbit." He practically yelled, confused and frustrated.

"No I'm not." She immediately denied crossing her arms over her chest, before putting them back down when that hurt her middle.

"Yes you are," he tried to tell her lightly, "only hobbits have big feet and are this short, there is no way your anything else."

" Well your wrong, I have perfectly normal sized feet." She cockily pulled blanket the comfy blanket to prove he was nuts.

She gasped though when she saw her feet. They were huge, she reached out and touched one, it felt real, but this can't be real. She quickly turned around and frantically shook Hermione out of her sleep.

"What Astrid?" Hermione groaned in pain, her eyes opening, and zeroing in on a very frazzled looking Astrid.

" We're somewhere weird, we need to find out where, because it like changed me."

Hermione gently pushed her friend back, and sat up slowly, and looked about the room, before settling on her fuming friend and flustered man sitting besides her. She rubbed her chin lightly in thought, making Astrid groan at her taking so long.

" This doesn't look very weird." She cautiously, not particularly understanding why her friend was freaking out. Not to say she wasn't wary if the new environment, or them man sitting on the floor.

Astrid growled again, glaring at everything in the room," I have huge feet, and this man," she pointed her finger right at Bilbo making him go wide eyed," says we're somewhere called Bag End or some shit. He's never even heard of England, and that I'm something called a hobbit!" She screamed, grabbing at her hair roughly.

" What's a hobbit." Hermione immediately questioned, always eager to learn new information

" Okay that is enough," Bilbo interrupted, in as much of an authoritative tone as he could muster," you are both hobbits, and you will lay back down, both of you. You're very injured, and I will not have you doing anything that could hurt you further."

" Lay back down." A light voice answered from behind the bickering group, making them all whip their heads around.

" Luna," Astrid paused she was goanna have her help figure this out, but her appearance made her pause," you're so much taller now, and your ears are pointy."

" well of course she is, she's an elf." Bilbo tiredly answered the strange women gathered in his room.

"The nargles thought it was best." Luna airily answered, her bright gray eyes dancing about the room carelessly.

"do you know where we are?" Hermione asked curiously as she rubbed her broken ankle lightly, debating if she could escape on it if need be.

"We're safe. This is where we are meant to be, our destiny lies here," she answered quietly, she glanced sharply at Astrid who looked put out and worried," this is a destiny to bring good, and we will find a way back to our home, but things will come about, and we might not wish to leave."

" Our destiny lies ahead of us," Hermione whispered suddenly, remembering what happened " you said that right before we entered the forest."

Luna nodded her head lightly, but cried out as her muscles stretched along her scar," We're supposed to be here, this is a good thing. The nargles said so."

" Nargles?" Bilbo whispered confused, but they all just continued to ignore him.

"Did they tell you anything else?" Astrid asked through a yawn, her body aching terribly.

Luna shook her head negatively making her head hurt again, making Bilbo finally blow up again," All of you back to sleep, you are in no condition to be sitting up." And he spent the next few minutes forcing them back down and watched them all fall back to sleep.

He sighed tiredly, and was about to sit back in his chair and get some sleep himself, when the elf, Luna, whispered to him, before nodding off," Be prepared for an adventure Mr. Baggins."

Bilbo sat stiffly in his seat, just staring at the women before him, he knew that as soon as they awoke something would happen. The elf wanted him to prepare for an adventure? He most certainly would not. She sounded so sure though, he groaned and slumped forward in his seat.

" What have I gotten myself into?" he asked no one before sitting up and falling asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Note:parts of this is alot like in the movies, but it will diverge once the story gets to the actual adventure part.**

Bilbo chewed on the end of the pipe that loosely hung is his mouth as he shuffled through the mail in his lap. He glanced at the door to his home before looking back at his mail, and he dropped the paper in frustration as he set his gaze on the door again.

He was just waiting for one of the women he had taken in over a month ago to come out and start spewing off more questions. Questions the equally confused and intrigued him. However the constant stream of questions and odd characteristics each one of them showed, was driving him up the wall.

He puffed on his pipe slowly as he waited, after several moments he relaxed and leaned back. Maybe he'd finally get a few moments to himself to just sit in silence and not be harassed.

He didn't have anything against them, they were actually quite endearing but he was just needing some alone time.

Hermione was easy to talk to, and when she took a breath in between every other lecture he actually had a fare amount of interesting conversation with her. She was also blindingly brilliant, the minute she had been able to start moving about his home with ease she had raided all of the books she could find. Then she proceeded to ask a multitude of questions about anything and everything she came across and caught on to so much, so quickly that it actually scared him a little. Among other things.

He blushed as his mind went to unsavory places and he quickly switched his thoughts to other things. Like the weird anomaly that was Astrid. She actually scared him, but that might be because of her ability to go from gloomy and imposing to bright in happy in the blink of an eye. It was quiet a site, one moment she's sitting brooding moodily over a book and the next she was jumping in to the pond near his home.

He shivered as he remembered her waking him up in the middle of the night a while ago with a mass amount of loud noise. Which had lead to him finding her and Luna half naked surrounded by bits of cheese in his kitchen trying to scrap some green goop off the ceiling, while each cradled a broken wrist. He still hasn't been told exactly what they had been doing, and he is actually thankful for that.

Especially since Luna had be involved, everything that she did confused him more than he ever thought he could be. Don't get him wrong she's a lovely girl, but she was always saying the oddest things like telling him to ,' be prepared for an adventure'. He was not up for an adventure, he was perfectly happy staying right where he was. He also still has no clue what Nargles are and no one seemed prepared to tell him.

He sighed once more and went back to flipping through the paper in his lap as he thought about them, he felt like they were all hiding something from him, something big. The way they had acted at first being told they were hobbits and elves respectively was thought worthy. He did not believe them when they all claimed to have just been out of it at the time, not with all the questions he's had to answer.

He startled when he heard a distinctly male voice grunt to his left and looked over to see a man. A very old man dressed in all gray and a pointy hat, and he had a long beard and staff with him. Bilbo had the feeling that he'd seen this man before, be he just couldn't remember for where.

"Good morning." He said always polite.

The man tapped his staff lightly on the ground and gazed at Bilbo," What do you mean? Do you wish me a good morning or do you mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not? Or perhaps you mean to say that you feel good on this particular morning? Or are you simply stating. That this is a morning to be good on? Hm?"

"All of them at once," Bilbo immediately answered, being around Luna so much had made him quick on his feet when it came to odd confusing questions," Can I help you?"

The man gazed at Bilbo for a short time making him squirm at the invasive stare," That remains to be seen. I'm looking for someone to share in an adventure." The man said with a look of determination on the edge of his eyes.

Bilbo balked at the question at once remembering what the blond elf had told him, and he shook his head roughly and stood," An adventure? No, I don't imagine anyone west of Bree would have much interest in adventures. Nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things. Make you late for dinner. Hmm. Oh. Ah. Good morning."

As he reached the door he paused as the man spoke," to think I should have lived to be 'good morninged' by Belladonna Took's son as if I were selling buttons at the door. You've changed, and not for the better the better, Bilbo Baggins."

" I beg your pardon? I'm sorry do I know you?" he asked quizzically turning around, this man knew his mother?

" Well, you know my name, although you don't remember that I belong to it. I'm Gandalf, And Gandalf means…me." He finished and looked at the young hobbit with and expectant look upon his wrinkled face.

"Gandalf," he tested the name In his mouth before his eyes lit up in recognition, "Not Gandalf the wandering wizard…who made such excellent fireworks? Old Took used to have them on Midsummer's eve. I had no idea you were still out doing business."

" And where else should I be?" Gandalf askes, raising a single gray eyebrow in challenge.

"Where else…? Ahem." He flustered and nervously puffed on his pipe.

Gandalf looked at him, with not a look of irritation but something Bilbo was having trouble identifying," Well, I'm pleased to find you remember something about me…even if it is only for my fireworks. Yes, well that's decided. It'll be very good for you and most amusing for me. I shall inform the others."

Bilbo squinted his eyes in confusion," Inform the who? What? No. No. No.. wait. We do not want any adventures here, thank you, Not today. Not-, I suggest you try Over the Hill or Across the Water. Good morning."

With that he quickly strode to his hole and slammed the door beofre he leaned against. He rested his head back against before he stood straight as he realized something. Luna knew this would happen, but how? Was she working with Gandalf? Were they all just here to force him into and adventure, was that what they were hiding? Because he knows they are not telling him everything.

He yelped as he heard the sound of something scraping against his door and stuck his ear to the wood to hear what was happening. It stopped after a moment and he peered out the glass to see if Gandalf was still there, fell backwards when an eye took up the whole pane before leaving. He clutched where his heart as he stood and prepared to go find the girls and see what they knew.

"What are doing?" a voice asked right besides his head making him startle again and scream.

" Don't do that." He pleaded as he looked at Astrid, who just gave him a lopsided grin.

"I was just checking to see if you were all right." Her eyes gleamed mischievously, letting him no she wasn't.

"Are you working with Gandalf?" He asked bluntly.

Astrid tilted her head, long black hair falling over her shoulders," Ganda what?"

" Gandalf." he stressed the name.

" Is this a person?" she asked confused," What kind of name is Gandalf? In fact what kind of name is Bilbo for that matter?"

" Oh never mind, where is Luna?" He pinched the bridge of his noes as he left the hall and went into the kitchen.

Astrid bounced on the ball of her heels as she followed him," That's actually why I came to you, Luna and Hermione left."

Bilbo paused in his searching ," Left, what do you mean left?"

" Luna said that her presence would not be welcomed soon and that she and Hermione would meet up with us when It's safer." She shrugged her shoulders and plopped down on the kitchen table.

Bilbo groaned," What does that even mean? And if they left why didn't you go with?"

" I was told to stay here and protect you until we meet up with them. Protect you from what I have no clue." She kicked her legs back and forth her head lolling to the side in thought.

"Well I'm not going anywhere, so I guess they will just have to come back here when we don't show up. And I can protect myself just fine by myself thank you very much." He argued stomping his foot on the floor.

" I have no doubt," Astrid placated," I'm just following orders and if Luna says you need to be protected, then I'm going to protect you."

" Why is this happening?" Bilbo groaned as he laid his head on the counter.

" You poor sad man," Astrid teased as she hopped off the table," Let us forget your worries and go catch some fresh fish for dinner, how does that sound?"

" That actually sounds nice." He mumbled not lifting his face up.

The two spent the rest of the day fishing and Bilbo happily ignored all things having to pertain with adventures. It was just as he was squeezing lemon juice over his fish that he paused mid squeeze as the doorbell rang, bursting his bubble.

" Wonder who that is?" Astrid asked through a mouthful of fish.

Bilbo sighed and got up Astrid following out of curiosity, although she brought her plate with her so she could continue to eat. He opened the door and was meet with the site of something he'd never see at his front door before. A dwarf.

" Dwalin, at your service." The dwarf answered with a small bow.

" Hm. Uh… Bilbo Baggins, at yours." He confusingly answered back.

" I'm Astrid," she spoke through another bite fish dragging Dawlin's attention to her, "Do you two know each other?"

" No," he answered curtly as he gently pushed his way in," Which way, laddie? Is it down here? Super, he said there would be food and lots of it."

Bilbo balked at the question as he watched the man go into his food storage," He…he said? Who said?"

Dwalin wasn't really listening though as he bit into some of the food and started humming at the taste," Very good, this. Any more?"

" What? Oh yes," he muttered and handed Dwalin more, which he happily took," Help yourself. It is just that um, I wasn't expecting company."

The doorbell rang again and Dwalin looked at him briefly before eating more," That'll be the door."

" Here Bilbo how about you take my plate and I'll get the door." Astrid offered as she held out her now empty dish.

"But I just-" The bell rang again and the dish was shoved into this hands, he just groaned and went into the kitchen.

"Balin at your service." Was what greeted her as she threw the door open.

"Hi Balin, I'm Astrid," she happily said, eyeing the short heavy man with mass amounts of gray air," Do you perhaps know Dwalin? Because he's eating all of our food."

" Is he," He asked mildly surprised as he stepped in, Astrid happily letting him with no fuss, "am I late?"

" Late for what?" she asked curiously as he took off a coat dropping it onto a chair, completely ignoring her question and going off to Dwalin who he greeted as brother and knocked heads with," Sure totally, just ignore me."

"Excuse me? Sorry to interrupt but the thing is, I'm not entirely sure you are in the right place." Bilbo grouched as he came back into the room to see another dwarf.

However they just ignored him like Astrid and went about talking about food and sniffing all the cheese. Bilbo groaned and stood next to Astrid as he watched the Dwarves riffle through all his food.

" It's not that I don't like visitors, But I do like to know them before they 'visit'."

" Understandable." Astrid agreed as she watched them start to get into a deep conversation about cheese.

" Lass come help us." Dwalin commanded looking at Astrid as he filled his arms to the brink with food.

" Wait just a moment- " but the door rang again and Astrid was helping with the food and he buried his face in his hands as he went to the door again.

" Fili-"

"And Kili-"

" At your service." Two men stated together, one blond and the other brunette with bright smiling faces.

" You must be Mr. Boggins." Kili said as he took a step forward to come in.

" No," Bilbo cried and tried to shut the door but Fili stopped him," You can't come in, you've come to the wrong house."

" What?! Has it been canceled?" Kili cried looking worried.

" No one told us." Fili said looking offended.

Bilbo looked very confused, "Can-! NO, no nothing' been canceled."

" That's a relief. " Kili muttered forcing his way and dropping all of his weapons into the hobbits arms.

"Careful with these, just had them sharpened." Fili cautioned as he handed his blade to Bilbo to hold, piling him high with sharp metal.

"Please don't do that, that is my mothers glory box?" Bilbo pleaded as he watched Kili wipe a muddy foot off on the box.

"Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand." Dwalin yelled and Bilbo followed them to see his entire kitchen being moved around.

" Mr. Dwalin." Kili greeted happily patting him on the shoulder before helping move the table.

"Lets shove this in the hole, or otherwise we'll never get everyone in." Astrid stated loudly as she helped to try and make the table fit.

" Astrid, what are you doing?!" Bilbo cried feeling betrayed that she was helping these men destroy his kitchen.

"What they needed help." She tried to defend herself but her face closed up a little showing that she knew she was guilty.

The door bell rang again and Bilbo lost it throwing down the swords, heading for the door angrily," There's nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There's far too many dwarves in my dining room kitchen as it is. If this is some blockhead's idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste."

He finished his rant by throwing the door open, and almost getting toppled over. Into his home fell a good handful of dwarves he wasn't sure how many. He listened to them argue and gripe as he tried to understand what was happening. He glanced up and from around the door jam a head poked it's way in, he suddenly had an idea of what was going on.

" Gandalf." This wasn't going to be fun Bilbo thought as he watched all the dwarves pick themselves up and move further into his home.

He was right he spent a fair amount of time stopping the people who invaded his home from destroying his things.

" Put that back. Put that back!" He reprimanded one of the dwarves trying to move an old chair, before he noticed a really heavy dwarf caring his cheese wheel," Excuse me. A tad excessive, isn't it? Have you got a cheese knife?"

" A cheese knife?" one stated as he walked by," He eats it by the block."

Bilbo didn't dwell on it as he saw more of his things being moved, and went and stopped them. He ignored Gandalf as he appeared to be counting and naming off, and drinking wine. Protecting his things was more important than figuring out why they were here at the moment.

He sighed in relief when they all stopped moving around several minutes later and he glanced about to try and find Astrid. He paused as he saw his entire food storage was empty, and he cringed as there was more yelling. Turning he saw Fili walking across the table handing out ale, before he sat down next to his brother. Next to him was Astrid happily eating away.

" Hey on the count of three!" Kili yelled holding up his ale.

" One! Two! Come!" they all yelled and it was silent as they all downed their drinks, even Astrid.

They all cheered again as they came up, and a red haired dwarf released a burp, and then a young one stood and let loose an even louder one, then there was even more cheering as Bilbo made a disgusted face. It all went silent as Astrid stood on the table boldly and belched loud and wetly, practically echoing through the house.

For a few seconds nobody made a sound before kili pulled her down and started screaming, which then had the whole table making twice as much noise as before if that was even possible.

" Why couldn't Hermione have been the one to stay?" Bilbo groaned leaning against the door jam trying to block out the noise.

Later after they had all eaten, Bilbo thought it was foolish to have expected them to not continue to touch his things.

He wrestled one of his doily cloths away from a dwarf, who he learned was named Bofur.

" But it's full of holes!" Bofur tried to reason as he released it.

" It's supposed to look like that, it's crochet." Bilbo seethed slightly, as he handed it off to Astrid who stood next to him.

" Oh, and a wonderful game it is too, if you got the balls for it." Bofur grinned roguishly as he leaned against the wall.

"I think I love you." Astrid whispered as she stared at Bofur, making him go wide eyed and Bilbo started choking."

" You what?" Bofur asked as he looked at the female hobbit before him.

" I said I think-" But Bilbo dragged her away and stalked over to Gandalf with her.

" My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter?" Gandalf Inquired as the huffy Hobbit strode up to him dragging the small female one with him.

" What's the matter?" he asked aghast, releasing Astrid's wrist so he could properly throw his hands about," I am surrounded by dwarves."

"They're quite a merry bunch, once you get used to them," Gandalf offered before he turned to Astrid," We weren't introduced, I am Gandalf."

" Astrid Potter, Bilbo's bodyguard at your service." She mocked how all the dwarves had greeted them earlier, as she did a curtesy with her dark green knee length dress.

" Hmm," Gandalf looked her over and raided an eyebrow at her," Bodyguard?"

" Yep," she said confidently placing her hands on her hips, a wicked grin on her face, "which means, where ever you are taking him, I'm coming to. There is nothing you can do that will stop me."

Gandalf opened his mouth to go against what she said when the doorbell rang again, silencing the whole house," He is here."

" Gandalf. I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way, twice. I wouldn't have found it at all had it not been for that mark on the door." An new dwarf stated as he was let into the home.

He seemed very imposing and someone you'd not want to mess with Astrid decide as she watched how all the dwarves started treating him. Must be the leader, she should want to stay on his good side otherwise she'll have trouble protecting Bilbo.

" Mark? There's no mark on that door. It was painted a week ago." Bilbo grouched a he went to look at the door.

" It was?" Astrid asked," Where was I when this happened?"

" You were out terrorizing little children." Was Bilbo's immediate reply, making Fili and Kili laughed, and she grinned.

" There is a mark. I put it there myself. Bilbo Bagging's, allow me to introduce the leader of our company: Thorin Oaken shield." Gandalf introduced the new Dwarf.

Bilbo looked confused, while Astrid was trying to hide a grin at her assumption being right.

" So, this is the Hobbit. Tell me, Mr. Baggins, have you done much fighting?" Thorin inquired as his eyes bore into Bilbo after briefly glancing over at Astrid.

" Pardon me?" he asked, fighting?

"Ax or sword? What's your weapon of choice?" Thorin asked looking mildly bored.

" Well, I do have some skill at conkers, if you must know," he paused to shoot Astrid a glare as she giggled at him, "but I fail to see why that's relevant."

Thorin hummed," Thought as much. He looks more like a grocer than a burglar."

That seemed to be the end of that as Balin interrupted and they started discussing why they were there. Astrid payed close attention as she listened to them talk about the quest they were on. She had to hold in a giggle as she tried to see Bilbo as a burglar. The whole quest seemed like it would fun if she was honest.

She listened as they described Smaug, a dragon that had over took there home mountain. Hearing their whole story had her yearning to help, because of her stupid saving people complex.

" The task would be difficult with an army behind us, but we number just thirteen, and not thirteen of the best, nor brightest." Balin roughly stated as he glanced about the room.

"Hey! Who are you calling dim?" One of them shouted, she thinks his name is Ori?

They only had thirteen people? How did they expect to go and fight a dragon, a very big and vicious one at that, if what they were describing about it was accurate. How old where these dwarves any way because Thorin didn't look very old. Maybe she should have been paying more attention when Hermione was teaching her and Luna about this world. This all seemed to be right out of fantasy stories back in her world, and she is utterly fascinated. Keys to get into mountains, guarded by fire breathing dragons, and all their gold and lively hood trapped with in.

"That's why we need a burglar." A dwarf named Óin said.

Bilbo hummed in a agreement nodding his head," you'd need a good one too. An expert, I'd imagine."

Astrid looked at him in dumfounded awe, did he not realize they were talking about him?

" And are you?" Óin asked.

Bilbo looked behind him and noticed that the dwarves are talking to him, and Astrid is giving him a funny look, "Am I what?"

Astrid groaned and tried to stop from laughing as she watched Bilbo realize that they wanted him to be their burglar and go steal from a dragon. He looked so disheveled and against the idea, it was like watching a five year old get caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

She was confused on why Gandalf wanted Bilbo so much, and the man honestly reminded her a bit of Dumbledore. She was impressed by his passionate speech about how Bilbo is more than he seems. However when she looked at Bilbo, his face spoke volumes on how much he didn't agree.

" Very well. We will do it your way. Give him the contract." Thorin ordered and Balin handed Bilbo a thick piece of very long paper.

" It's just the usual summary of out - of - pocket expenses, time required, and remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth." Balin states casually.

" Funeral arrangements." Bilbo asked his face going white as he started to go through the long contract.

Astrid watched him start to mutter everything he read and listened into Thorin telling Gandalf how he couldn't guarantee Bilbo's safety. She decided it was time to introduce herself, because she was going with him.

" Hi I'm Astrid, Bilbo's bodyguard if he chooses to go on your quest and be your burglar." Astrid Introduced herself, standing right in front of Thorin.

" Bodyguard?" Thorin asked as he looked at the small women before him.

" Yes, I am in charge of protecting his scrawny doily loving ass, and this is all very dangerous. So I'm just letting you know that if he agrees to go, I am coming to." She bluntly told the man.

" how exactly can you protect you little friend over there, and why does he need to be protected?" Thorin questioned, his eye twitched slightly at her attitude towards him.

" that is frankly none of your business," Astrid shrugged," just see me as extra hands in getting your mountain back."

Thorin looked calculating at Astrid for several minutes a hand stoking through his beard, his staring was interrupted by Bilbo though who'd finally come up from the contract looking frazzled.

" Incineration?" Bilbo questioned wide eyed, looking faint.

" Oh, aye, he'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye." Bofur answered.

"You alright, laddie?" Balin asked as Bilbo seemed to sway in place.

" Huh? Yeah, I feel a bit faint." Bilbo muttered.

Astrid tried to think of a way to help, she really isn't good at helping though," Think furnace, with wings."

" I…I…I need air." Bilbo huffed raggedly.

" Flash of light, searing pain, then poff! You're nothing more than a pile of ash!" Bofur said loudly trying to think of something to stop his swaying and hyperventilating.

"No," was all Bilbo said before he fell over in a dead faint, making Astrid cringe.

"Oh, very helpful, you two." Gandalf said this towards Astrid and Bofur, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he went over to check Bilbo.

Astrid looked at Bofur and threw him a Cheshire grin which he returned, making Astrid smile wildly and turn to help with Bilbo, and she tried to hide her blush.

It was and hour or so later that Bilbo was sat in an armchair, blanket wrapped tight around him as he muttered," I'll be alright. Just let me sit quietly for a moment."

" You've been sitting quietly for far to long. Tell me when did doilies and your mother's dishes-" Bilbo interrupted him however, because he knew exactly where Gandalf was heading with his speech.

"Can you promise that I will come back?"

" No. And if you do…you will not be the same." The old wizard spoke tiredly as he gazed down at Bilbo.

Bilbo shook his head and stood," That's what I thought. Sorry, Gandalf, I can't sign this. You've got the wrong Hobbit." And with that he left the room.

Astrid glanced about the room her gaze sticking on Bofur a little longer than necessary before she too left the room, leaving all the dwarves plus Wizard to themselves. She didn't fully leave though, she stopped around the corner and listened to them speak. It was actually heartbreaking what they were doing, and her heart went out for Thorin, for all of them. She prayed that before they left Bilbo would change his mind and agree to help them.

She started to doze against the wall teetering over the edge, only falling when she heard Thorin begin to sing.

"Far over the Misty Mountains cold. To dungeons deep and caverns old. We must away ere break of day. To find our long forgotten gold."


	4. Chapter 4

"Luna Lovegood," Hermione growled as she trudged over moldy rocks trying to keep up with the blond," you will stop right this instant and tell me what the hell is going on."

Luna jumped up onto a large boulder and stood facing a way from the irritated brunet, her hands clasped behind her back," Why what ever do you mean my dear Granger?"

" Don't pull that crap with me, you know exactly what I'm on about." She huffed as she made it to Luna and glared up at her innocent looking backside.

"Hmm, do I?" she asked, tilting her head sideways closing her eyes.

Hermione felt the urge to push the elf off the rock but refrained," I want to know why we really left Astrid with Bilbo, and don't give me any more shit about the dwarves not liking you. Plus where are we going?"

" You will know eventually." Was the answer she received.

" No you will answer me now, we never split up, ever during the war we never left each other in an unfamiliar place," Climbing up the rock she stood in front of her friend, her face stormy with irritation," answer me Luna, its been days and I still don't know what is going on, and you obviously do."

Luna sighed and bent her head forward, but stayed silent, Hermione was gearing up to actually push her backwards when she looked up. Her eyes were wide, and completely clear sartling her.

"You know I'm not normal," was the whispered confession," I never fit in, I see weird things, I know impossible knowledge. Since I got here they have been speaking to me, back home they never could." Her arms went around her waist and she gripped the fabric of her shirt roughly.

" Who's been talking to you?" She inquired gently as she began to see the blond breakdown for the first time she's ever seen.

" The Valar," she croaked her eyes starting to brim with water," they won't stop talking, putting endless information into my head, futures upon futures each changed by a single wrong chess move."

" The Valar?" Hermione tasted the name out loud trying to remember where she'd heard that when it hit her," you mean the ones who sent the istari to Middle-Earth?"

" They want us to fix things, so many things and if we do it wrong so many will get hurt, and many more will die Hermione." She released her shirt and looked back toward the ground, but looked up as a warm hand took hers.

Brown eyes stared into impossibly bright blue," Luna what are we doing, I can't help unless you tell me. We can't save the world with out all the information shared."

Luna gripped her hand tight as she pushed hair back from her face and sniffed and nodded," We need to find something before Bilbo does."

" Find what?"

" A ring, held now in the hands of creature who fell to its lure," She whispered as she unclasped their hands and hoped down from the rock and trudged forward," we are not much further from it."

" Luna," Hermione yelled as she climbed down from the rock not taking the chance of jumping," why did we leave Astrid behind?"

" Hermione you act like the perfect hobbit for the most part. " she answered conversationally.

She raised an eyebrow at her as she caught up to the long legged blond," thanks?"

A toothy smiled was aimed at her, a powerful glint was in her bright blue eyes," when you look at the different types of creatures and how those cultures work, you can see why I am an elf and you are a hobbit."

" As fascinating as that is why do you bring it up?" she stumbled over a rock almost falling on to her face causing Luna to giggle madly for not watching where she was stepping.

" Astrid doesn't act like a hobbit," she swung her arms out and spun in a small circle, her eyes taking a glazed look to them," she's dirty, overly adventurous, and if anything acts more like that of a dwarf."

Confused Hermione stilled as she watched her friend spin about," what do you mean, are you trying to tell me she isn't actually a hobbit?"

Her giggles rose as she skipped towards the confused girl, and lifted her up into her arms resting her on her hip, making the brunette squeal and demand to be let down," That is exactly what I was trying to tell you, you are so smart." She cooed to the glowering hobbit in her arms.

"Then what the hell is she?" pushing at the arms holding her but having no luck in getting let go as the arms tightened considerably and they started moving forward," she looks just like a hobbit, and I didn't find anything in any books about something that would look like a hobnit,but then not be one."

" That's because Astrid's special," she hummed happily pinching Hermione when she kicked her," she is the first of her kind to be seen in a great many years, actually to be considered make believe here. "

"of course she is," she huffed giving up on being let down," well what is she, and that still doesn't explain why she isn't with us."

"It only becomes obvious what she is when she is hit with high emotions, and we wouldn't be able to help her come back to herself. The only one who can help her come back and help her learn to control it is the wizard convincing Bilbo to help the dwarves."

"What why can't we help?" an upset look taking over her face as she thought about being unable to help one of her closest friends.

" Very few people know the true information concerning her kind, and he is the only one trust worthy enough to help her." She murmured as she stepped on to a grassy hill.

"What is she though?"

" Now that would be telling wouldn't it?" Luna grinned down at her causing her to groan in frustration at not being told.

"Luna!" she tried, but the elf just hummed and ignored her huffing and kept heading forward.


End file.
